I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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