My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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