Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
