HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The Olympian is in my bed
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
