Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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