uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
