so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
