Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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