new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
