4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just gargled with NyQuil
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
