Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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