Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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