Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
