I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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