yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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