so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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