I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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