They should really pass out barf bags in church
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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