My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
its liver damage thursday
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