OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
