My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
