The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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