yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
