I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
