well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
