i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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