As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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