paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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