i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
