So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
