Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
