youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
