Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
