You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
