I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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