Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
