I must be too annoying 4 u.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Even my vagina gasped.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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