I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the day after is always just damage control
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
