Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
