Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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