at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
