dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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