Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You took a bar mat shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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