she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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