One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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