I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
