That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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