ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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