what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
