Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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