the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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