Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
