Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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