hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
