so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize