You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
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He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
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If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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