I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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