So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
