just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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