then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
