margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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