I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
