dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
