i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
